I swear I'm alive and well-ish as far as living goes.
but as per usual my social skills and focusing ability could be better.
recently had this weird reaction to a thought of a goal-less life
I read an article saying it wasn't such a bad thing
you tend to do things and be more productive because you like doing so.
though doesn't that mean one would ignore the things they need to do?
it didn't say no to a goal list though, just make sure it's small.
Then I decided to stop nitpicking it and give it a try
it's hard to start, but I'm sure I'll figure it out more as time goes by.
Though I can tell it was suddenly a lot nicer doing thing like they weren't chores-
I stopped being productive when I decided my focusing was done
I can never tell whether I'm not focusing because I want to or not
I'm hoping to start this year with the ideal of surviving what I may liken to be getting rammed by wall as I get ready for college.
and while surviving I want to enjoy my free time when given the chance by drawing, gaming, attempting to talk to the manly people- I
wow I'm tired it's like 5:10 am
back to the point!
gonna attempt socializing with humans whether I idolize them or not, standing around and gawking is comfortable, but terribly lonely and boring.
so I'm just gonna make a basic list
<3 ) yo gonna actually focus hard enough to get some things started and cared for with
(yo making more meme would be pre'cool
<> ) ey I should prob focus on the fact that after june 6th I'm gonna be hurled (or hurling my organs) into society sort of... so I should do my best to do well in school and ready to be all eeeyyyyy I'm pre'much set for college! excuse me while I puke rainbows and butterflies out of my stomach in relief and panic \o7o/
o8< ) I wanna talk to people I admire! first plan of action is to attempt drawing their character or approach subject after totally not spending and wasting an hour on things I could do in order to converse.
I can rule Anime Club at my school with words of steel, being nervous about talking to people I can't see is silly.
(I'm not a dictator at anime club I swear. No one hears me use my loud voice until I enter on a club day-)
<3< ) I should stop writing journals late at night and consider more self restraint in order to take care of my open health. At the very least I must remember to take measure whenever I'm home to keep self maintenance in mind.
Happy belated new years everyone!! >v< <333
gonna go sleep for less than an hour now huehuehue-//WALLED